


Hello, Anxiety (SebaCiel)

by FengSuave



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adult Ciel Phantomhive, Adult Content, Alcohol, Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bottom Ciel Phantomhive, Developing Relationship, Doctor/Patient, Don't read if you are looking for fluff, Drama & Romance, Drunk Sex, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Gay Male Character, Healing, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inner Dialogue, Intense, Intoxication, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-con Alois/Ciel, Panic Attacks, Partying, Peer Pressure, Plot Twists, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rating: M, Realistic, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, Tender Sex, Therapy, This is a dark story, Top Sebastian Michaelis, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22910410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FengSuave/pseuds/FengSuave
Summary: AU: Sebastian, the university psychiatrist, listened closely to Ciel's quivering voice from the couch across from him. Embracing the maroon colored pillow even tighter to his heaving chest, he felt another wave of anxiety crashing down. Drenched in hysteria, he cried out, "It's like a nightmare. I can't deal with this. Please… don't judge me, Dr. Michaelis." He wanted to help another suffering soul. "You'll be fine," Sebastian's words were softly spoken. It was different this time, though. Ciel was becoming more than just a patient. (SebaCiel)
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive, Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler.

* * *

**Hello, Anxiety**

Negative thoughts clouded his mind like a dreary rainstorm cloud over a small, fragile home in a deserted land. Ciel's cell phone vibrated, grabbing his attention as he was stepping out of his dorm.

_Where are you?_

His slim thumbs fidgeted lightly after opening up the message on the lit-up screen. He attempted to reply, but the problematic thoughts consumed him. His deep azure eyes watered, barely visible to anyone within his small perimeter.

With a quivering breath and a heavy feeling shoving forcefully against his chest, he replied cautiously to the sender.

_I will be there. -Ciel_

_Good. Alois is expecting you._

"...Alois?" He muttered very softly under his breath, arching his eyebrow in confusion. "Who is that?"

Hurrying down the stairs of his second floor dorm, he tried his best avoiding glances sent his way. Their stares made him insecure; something he had dealt with since he was bullied as a child. Those nasty glares and stares flared up his anxious mind.

Dark thoughts plagued his mind, causing him to lose focus of his surroundings. He tripped forward on the sidewalk before the shuttle bus pulled away from his existence like an impatient brat. Multiple students witnessed it, sharing a chuckle or two. Their sadistic glowing neon eyes bore down on him through the tinted windows of the passing by vehicles. He didn't know how he was going to get through this day.

"Should I turn back?" He asked himself, inaudible to anyone around him. The answer seemed so tempting; an easy escape from this hellish nightmare. Shaking the negativity out of his head, he focused on the approaching shuttle bus with a scarce amount of students.

Cobalt eyes scanned out the window seat, heart throbbing painfully hard in his rib cage. He couldn't breathe properly. Other people were looking at him. His eyes chanced a swift glimpse at two girls chatting loudly. They caught his eyes at the same time, making him feel microscopic under their scrutiny.

One of the college girls winked at him as her friend gave her a pat on the shoulder for encouragement. Ciel did not- in no way, shape, or form- want to be bothered by these two heathens. They were the same type of women who hurt him as a very young child, breaking his heart. Well, before he realized he was homosexual. Unfortunately, his deceased parents did not approve of his- what they called it- "life choices".

"Oh my gosh, you are legit the cutest guy I've, like, ever seen!" Ciel ignored her and the friend, tightly folding his arms against his chest with a small huff; wishing he had his headphones to listen to music.

His music was his savior. Especially the headphones that provided him a shield of defense.

The friend noticed he was being unpleasant and ill-mannered. She did not approve of anyone denying her friend of reciprocation.

"Pssh, he looks too feminine for my liking." Ciel's eyebrows furrowed, their voices becoming too loud for him. His skin crawled and his foot started tapping incessantly as his destination came into view. It was an apartment complex that held a huge pool party. The two girls followed behind him off of the bus, snickering loudly just to bother him more.

Buzz, buzz, bu-

"Hello?" His voice was tiny as he hurried his footsteps, noticing that the sun was already setting in the distance.

"Where _are_ you?" It was Claude's voice. Why did his voice sound so demanding?

"I...I'm on my way." Ciel did not wait for an answer and smashed the red circular icon. He preferred to text, but he was worried something would be wrong since Claude called him.

The enormous swimming pool was in view at this point, much to Ciel's disbelief. He didn't even want to be here. It was the biggest party of the summer semester at their university. There were strings of flashing colorful lights, pumping music, and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Girls were in skimpy outfits and bikinis. Guys were wearing only swim pants, advertising their muscle gains from working out vigorously since the fall semester last year.

"Oh shit," Ciel cursed under his breath, realizing that he forgot to bring his swim shorts and a towel with him. He started to become frantic at the thoughts of people laughing at him.

_Why did I forget them? I'm so stupid. Everyone will laugh at-_

"Ciel Phantomhive!" An attractive blonde haired blue eyed man shouted his name, muscles flexing as he walked up to the short, slender, pale Ciel.

"Hello?" He wasn't sure what to say to this stranger.

_How does he even know my name?_

"You don't know me," the taller male laughed, seemingly charismatic. Ciel inwardly rolled his eyes at the obvious statement. "But my name's Alois Trancy."

He swung a strong arm around Ciel's thin shoulders, whispering dangerously close to Ciel's ear.

"I'm the big shit here. This is my party. So… with that being said, I'm glad you could make it!"

Nodding with a slight tremble from the change in moods from Alois, "O-Okay…" was the only thing that Ciel could comfortably sputter out.

_Wasn't Claude the host of this pool party? Wait- Claude mentioned that 'Alois' was expecting me..._

"Alois?" Ciel tried out the name timidly like a child learning how to say a new word and received a cocky grin from Alois.

"Hmm?" _Cute Ciel…_

"Where is Claude?" That's all Ciel wanted to know. He was surrounded by complete strangers at the pool party. He desperately wanted to sink into the ground and not come out until everyone was gone.

"Claude!" Alois called out over the pumping music, causing Ciel's frame to pulse with the beat.

The summoned familiar person grinned with a glint of his glasses, "Ciel, I'm glad that you could make it. Where are your swim shorts? You're still in your street clothes." The constant nagging picked at Ciel's fragile nerves.

Alois perked up at this, seeing this as an opportunity to spend some alone time with Ciel.

"Seeing as this is my apartment complex, I'll take him to wear one of my _smaller_ pairs." Ciel's mood dampened, feeling offended by Alois' sly comment that elicited a chuckle from Claude.

_Great job, Claude. Now I'm stuck with this asshole. What if he tries to hurt me? My chest feels heavy._

Ciel started choking on nothing but air as Alois started dragging him up the staircase to his apartment door. "Dude, chill." The blonde didn't understand what he was experiencing; nobody did. He was all alone. Stuck with his nightmares even while he was awake.

"I'm getting you a pair of swim trunks, not raping you. Freak," Alois joked sarcastically, but Ciel took every single word to heart. Huffing out, Ciel lost his sense of control as Alois shut the door behind them and locked it.

_Why did he lock that door?_

"Here," Alois announced proudly, presenting a tight navy blue speedo to Ciel's blushing face. Ciel's pale face heated up, mortified at the garment. Before he could protest, Alois harbored a sinister glint in his eyes. "Oh, you're going to wear them."

Something switched in Ciel's head as he found himself being stripped down to nothing. He froze in place, feeling his feet fuse to the flooring. He could not move a muscle while Alois pushed him back on his queen sized bed. The blue plaid blanket was plush underneath his naked form, but he wasn't focusing properly to care.

Ciel shoved away from Alois' bed, watching as the blonde departed with a smirk. The speedo was in his hands now. Reluctantly, he slipped it on slowly. He studied himself in front of a long mirror with a dissatisfied expression.

_Bloody hell, I look like an idiot. I'm too skinny and have no muscles._

As soon as Alois and Ciel returned to the party, the sky had darken since the sun was merely a bright line against the horizon. Shouts of drunken frenzy filled the night air. There were a lot of people in the gigantic swimming pool, bottles of beer in their hands with silly grins on their faces. Ciel gulped as Alois had a death grip on his small wrist, "Ciel. Chill. Tonight will be a night that you _may_ or _may not_ forget."

Ciel's eyes widened at what Alois said and was shoved into the deep end of the pool. The pool tide rose high as more people jumped in the pool. Ciel resurfaced, escalating his panic and heartbeat with squinted eyes. His hair was sticking to his face. His vision was temporarily blinded by his bangs until he combed them away from his eyes. He gasped as someone's strong arms encircled around his frantically moving body. His legs kicked wildly to stay above surface. He was very petite and young looking for a college sophomore student.

"Ciel, calm down!" Claude laughed at the restless figure in his arms. Ciel wanted to evacuate like yesterday. He was flailing around like a cat who slipped in a bathtub.

Grell, one of the popular seniors at the university, swam over to them with two beers in his hands, passing them to Claude and Ciel. "Drink up, boys!" Everyone except Ciel roared with celebratory chants, clanking their beer bottles together.

Claude cheered with the other frat boys and took a big swig of his bottle. Ciel nervously eyed the alcoholic beverage in his petite hands.

"Come on, Ciel. Don't be a pussy!" Alois shouted over the pulsating bass in the song playing over the powerful speakers. Other students curiously swam over to where Ciel was and chanted for him to drink.

"You wanna be cool, _right_?" Claude pressed on, winking like a sly fox. Others started hooting and hollering as a catchy song started playing.

After that was said, Ciel sighed out and accepted the bottle. Grimace and disgust is what was splayed out on Ciel's face. His pale cheeks tinged a light pink as he was pressured to down another bottle. The music was pounding in his ears as he was led out of the water and over to the area where the lights were flashing wildly. Another bottle of beer and Ciel no longer cared about the small amount of clothes that he was wearing. He was too trapped in his head as his body started to sway side to side.

His mind was like a bucket of used mop water, splashing around as people grinded against him. Claude grinned drunkenly at Alois who was getting a little too frisky with his other swim suit clad guests. Ciel's small frame was pushed over to where Grell and Will were dancing in a raunchy fashion. There were puffs of smoke filling the area. The air was too moist yet his bones were shuddering from the crisp night breeze.

"Wanna try this?" Grell's eyebrow arched, eyeing the slightly intoxicated male with a few coughs. Ciel watched Grell holding out a brown paper wrapped thing that was still glowing bright orange at the end of it. A string of smoke snaked out freely from the neon light.

_What the hell is that?_

_They keep giving me this stuff. But, I don't want to be uncool._

Sweat that was mixed with pool water lightly glided from his forehead to his high-cheek bone, anxiety erupting inside of his wobbling body. Already tipsy from three beers, Ciel's moral judgement and inhibitions were lost. Suddenly, he felt a joint between his lips. Flinching at the intrusion, he twisted his face away.

"Look, I don't want it!" Ciel panicked, causing their faces to twist into bewildered looks. They were judging him. Ciel was not okay with using drugs and alcohol. He already failed at the second one. It was peer pressure's fault! It wasn't Ciel's fault.

 _What if something bad happens?_ The angel on his shoulder warned him in his head.

 _What if I like it, though?_ The devil pondered curiously as he tugged on Ciel's heartstrings.

"Are you serious?" Alois' voice thundered and Ciel's eyes widened. He felt trapped again. Grell offered the joint to the twenty year old. Sighing forcefully from the pressure, he squeezed his eyes tightly. Why couldn't he just leave this nightmare?

Reluctantly, he sheepishly grabbed the blunt, inspecting it carefully through hazy vision from the intoxication. Inexperienced, he wrapped his lips around it, sucked on it without breathing properly, and choked out. Tears welled up in his eyes as he hunched over, coughing and frightened.

Will grabbed the younger male by his heaving shoulders firmly, handing him a clouded, chilly water bottle. Ciel snatched the water bottle, untwisted the cap, and chugged the ice cold water until the plastic bottle deflated completely.

_It burns, it burns! My eyes won't stop watering._

"You're a beginner." Grell patted Ciel on the shoulder, almost condescendingly, after he composed himself.

"You deeply inhale, hold it, and then breathe out smooth. Look, like this." He proceeded by taking another toke and blew out smoke with a forming smile.

_Why are you explaining it? I don't like this!_

_But maybe, I could enjoy this, no?_

If only this crowd was kinder, Ciel would not be in this predicament. He hated how others could easily control him; manipulate him. Now, his conscious was becoming quite contradicting with its instructions.

Once again, the gigantic army of drunk and faded college students cheered on Ciel over the blasting music. Once again, Ciel was trapped in his nightmare again. Inhaling deeply and holding it, Ciel released a thunderous round of coughs. His body started to feel all fuzzy. There was a rush that he could feel inside. Everything intensified. The music, the people, the lights, the shivers on his bare skin.

Claude folded his arms against his bare chest with a smirk and a sharp look in his green eyes. He chuckled lowly.

_Enjoy your treat, Alois._

Five minutes passed, the music slowed down considerably and his body felt very, very light. His limbs felt heavy at the same time, freaking him out briefly. Alois stole Ciel's hands by his sides, raising the left one, and swiftly wrapping his arm around Ciel's waist in one fluid motion. A blush formed over his cheeks. He knew that he was not allowed to behave this way. All of his morals were conflicting with his current state of being. Haunted by the oppressive memories, Ciel frowned downwards with downcast eyes as he felt uncertainty and distress.

"How are you feeling?" Alois asked, seduction dripping from the question. Ciel gulped; he was inexperienced with everything that was happening to him. He felt like he was a real life nightmare.

A waking nightmare.

"I...I want to go lay down," he told the truth, feeling air-headed and nausea following in his footsteps.

"Do you want to go to my apartment?" Alois asked sickeningly sweet, knowing damn well he had no good intentions at this point.

_This is not good. My stomach hurts. I want to go home._

Ciel blinked lazily with a faraway look flashing faintly in his sapphire eyes, "I… I'm falling... asleep." His trembling body went completely limp, yanking Alois' body downwards as he was not expecting for him to pass out. Alois scooped the lightweight male and awkwardly carried him back to his apartment in his strong arms.

Past the other tan buildings that housed multiple apartments, around the corner, up the stairs, Alois stumbled through the threshold of the unlocked apartment door. With some struggle due to his own intoxicated state, he dropped Ciel onto his bedroom floor.

What happened next was like a broken horror picture show. Everything went dark once his back crashed against the bed; Ciel was at Alois' mercy. Two strong devious hands tugged down his speedo with lustful force.

Meanwhile, everyone else was in their own little worlds, partying and intoxicated beyond belief. They did not pay attention to what occurred between Alois and Ciel.


	2. Chapter Two

Ciel hesitated with heavy tears welling up in his downcast eyes and knitted brows, "I… I can't remember much after... that, Dr. Michaelis."

The university's new psychiatrist, Sebastian Michaelis, was a very patient, refined, and understanding twenty-eight year man. He had quite a few patients make appointments with him that were struggling with their academic struggles, homelessness, domestic abuse, and any other personal issues.

Ever since Ciel made an emergency appointment the first day with Sebastian, he could trust him right away. Due to his own insecurities, the idea of trusting another person was foreign to him, especially since he had been swindle and betrayed more times than he could count.

"Take your time, Ciel. We still have ten more minutes," Sebastian informed gently, checking the gold watch on his wrist. Ciel nodded weakly, looking down at his trembling hands in his lap. Sighing deeply with a sniffle as he inhaled, he cleared his throat.

Ciel released a depressed exhale past his lips, although it shook slightly.

"Can… Can you sit by me?" He inquired sheepishly, tears drying up gradually. There were a few barely audible sniffles coming from him.

With subtle hesitation, Sebastian nodded with a barely noticeable shrug of his broad shoulders. They were both adults. After all, Ciel was on the verge of a meltdown. He leaned forward with ease, stood up from his seat, and walked over to the couch that was big enough to seat two people. He plopped down carefully next to Ciel.

There was a brief silence between them with the exception of random sniffles. Sebastian handed the younger male a gray box of tissues. Accepting them, Ciel blew his nose and continued discussing his haunting, blurred memory.

Splayed out on Alois' bone-chilling bed, Ciel lifted his head up with blurred vision. The fan swirled above, inducing vertigo. His vision was gradually sharpening. He groaned out from last night. He felt like literal death. It was comparable to a red Double Decker bus crashing into his dainty body and leaving him for dead.

His head was pounding unmercifully, his lips dully sore and chapped; his body dirty from last night's party and sticky sweat. Only small snippets of what happened were a constant blur. He couldn't remember exactly what happened, but felt uneasy. Quietly, he assessed any signs of ailments that he could feel right away.

_My arse doesn't hurt…_

"W...What time is it?" He panicked to himself, forcing himself out of his daze. A rush of adrenaline surged through his system, jaw clenching, and heart racing.

It was daylight. He missed his morning class along with half of his day class that started at 11:30.

_Fuck, I'm so dead. I'm so dead. Kill me already… Fuck!_ His mind viciously bemoaned a great regret.

He cupped his heated forehead in resentment; instantly thinking of every negative outcome possible of what could happen to him.

"That's the third time that I have missed my classes," he lamented as if he was grieving his own death at his funeral. The death of his GPA. The death of his approval from his deceased parents.

_They're probably rolling in their graves. They would be so disappointed in me._

Sighing out with another wave of restlessness, his eyes darted helplessly around for his rumpled up clothes from yesterday. Nearly losing hope after not finding it the first time, he passed by the crumpled up clothing and hastily dressed in them. Creeping out of the bedroom, he made a beeline through the small living room that led to the front door.

Sighing once again, but this time in pure relief, he seized in his steps after starting his way down the spiraling staircase. The nagging voice in his head bullied him all the way to where the shuttle bus was grumbling idly. Not to mention, as Ciel was boarding the shuttle bus, Alois and a couple of his friends were walking past the shuttle bus with booming laughter. Laughing at him.

"That was one week ago," Ciel explained in a solemn voice, twiddling his thumbs and avoiding eye contact with his psychiatrist, Dr. Michaelis. The maroon pillow appeared as if it were going to burst out by the thread. Sebastian had grown accustomed to the all too familiar quivers that happened after discussing another painful memory.

"Ciel," Sebastian hushed the student with a gentle hand on his shivering shoulder. "It might be best to make another appointment for next we-"

"N-No! Dr. Michaelis, are you giving up on me?" It was incredibly disheartening to hear Ciel in such an anguished mental state. He was leaning against Sebastian, shamefully grabbing onto his sleeves and choking back sobs. Sebastian glanced over his shoulder to the door with a small window. Privacy was crucial for all of his patients. He noted to himself that Ciel started visiting him last week; a few days after the traumatizing situation happened. This was his second visit since he nervously stepped into his office.

According to his previous small amount of notes, Ciel exhibited countless symptoms of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. From the very start, Ciel was indeed a difficult challenge, but Sebastian was determined to treat the young man. He was determined to make his life more enjoyable and stable.

"I would never give up on you!" Sebastian swiftly remarked truthfully, almost defensively.

"Ciel," he calmly called out as he stood up, forcing Ciel to stand up as well. Sebastian held Ciel's hand and the other by the shoulder. Ciel blushed immensely as Sebastian effortlessly moved him to walk a few steps to the right and then to the left. Temporarily discombobulated and red puffy eyed, Ciel sniffled quietly as he was led by Sebastian's motions.

After walking around a little bit, Ciel's mind was distracted from his nightmarish thoughts and focused on awkwardly dancing around the office.

_What is he doing? I feel awk-_

"When you start to feel like you are losing control," Sebastian explained as he continued to whirl Ciel's dainty body around the office, "You have to start moving."

"M...Moving?" Ciel was beyond confused, slightly freaked out that his psychiatrist was dancing with him.

"Was anyone looking?" Ciel accidentally whispered to himself; blue eyes darting up at Sebastian with an obvious pink blush staining his pale cheeks.

_He's tall… I didn't realize that before._

Ciel briefly forgot about the vivid, troublesome memories. At that moment, he was merely looking up into the empathetic, dark brown eyes with a tinge of crimson. His feet dragged slightly; his memorized movements were clumsy above the carpeted floor. Sebastian shared a goofy grin with Ciel, feeling quite relieved that he could ground him.

"I'm just sickened by the thought of it all," Ciel confessed quietly as Sebastian stepped backwards.

"I understand your situation and I'm here to help you." Sebastian honestly wanted to treat him and had made his diagnosis. Ciel was diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

Nodding finally, Ciel allowed himself to be vulnerable with his psychiatrist. Part of him didn't want to reflect on his past, but Sebastian reassured him that their meetings would be confidential. No matter what was discussed between them. No matter what happened between them.

"Now," Sebastian started up, returning to his side desk to collect Ciel's folder of notes. "I will see you on Monday." Ciel deeply inhaled and released the breath, twisting around to gather his messenger bag on the couch.

"Try to avoid going to anymore of these college parties." Ciel wanted to follow his advice, but he knew that he would break under peer pressure. He wanted to be validated due to his insecurities. He wasn't exactly first picked in his past and now he was becoming more popular, which fueled his desires. It was a double edged sword though. It was a trigger. It was troublesome, but he wanted to take his chances.

"I will," Ciel lied, adverting his eye contact from Sebastian; avoidance written in his eyes. Sebastian could see right through his erroneous reply.

Quietly sighing, Sebastian scribbled down something, folded the note in half, and handed it to Ciel.

Before Ciel could question his actions, Sebastian interrupted. "Contact me if it's an emergency. I have never shared my number with any of my patients, so keep this between us."

Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, Ciel accepted the folded over paper, pocketed it, and then watched as Sebastian printed out more paperwork.

After signing his signature on both of the papers, he handed them to Ciel. "Here are two prescriptions. I sent it electronically to the university's pharmacy. Go right away after you make your next appointment and pick them up."

Ciel didn't want to take medicine. He was in denial. He wanted Dr. Michaelis' help, but would a pill really keep his crippling anxiety and nightmarish reality at bay?

"You need to follow my directions. Be honest with me, Ciel." Sebastian stated firmly as he guided Ciel out of his office.

After Ciel made his appointment for Monday, which was three days from today, he decided to follow his psychiatrist's instructions. He departed from the office, made his way down the hall, and headed for the dark, vacant stairwell.

Before he could push the door open to the outside world, he bumped into Alois and Claude. He muttered a quick apology, feeling his stomach turn upside down, and rushed away after hearing them call out his name. He wanted absolutely _nothing_ to do with them. He knew that they would only trigger his anxiety and he was tired of showing them his weaknesses.

"Hey, Ciel!" Grell's voice echoed through the busy traffic of students bustling to their classes. William was by Grell's side, holding him around his slim waist as they passed Ciel by in the outside hallway leading to the university's pharmacy.

Ignoring their cries of his name, he scurried into the stout building and nervously surveyed the area. To Ciel's relief, there were no students around to judge him. There were two areas that read 'drop-off' and 'pick-up'. He remembered Sebastian informing him that he already sent the prescriptions, so he would only have to pick them up and pay for it.

"What's the date of birth?" The girl asked politely, looking at him as soon as her fingertips touched the keyboard.

"December 14, 1999." He mumbled just loud enough for her to hear. She typed in his birthday and proceeded to ask him additional questions.

"Last name?"

"Phantomhive?" He didn't mean to make his answer to sound like it was a question, but he assumed that he was already in the database. Loudly typing in the information, he grew weary before she pushed herself out of her chair and stood up to retrieve his medications in the back.

"Do you have any questions for our pharmacist?" Ciel nodded at her shyly and glanced over his shoulder at the sound of the glass door opening behind him.

Before she could turn to grab the pharmacist's attention, Ciel quickly changed his mind. He didn't want to be caught in here with another student watching or recognizing him. She appeared confused, but respected his decision.

"How much is it?" He asked, feeling his cheeks burn from embarrassment as the student stood behind him in line.

"Umm... Don't worry about it. It looks like it was already paid for in advance."

"Oh…?" He was surprised at Sebastian's generosity and grabbed the plastic bag that contained two bottles of noisy pills.

"If you have any questions, you can contact us at this number. Also, there is paperwork inside that will answer frequently asked questions." She smiled at Ciel and waved him off before calling the next person in line.

Ciel secretly stole a glimpse at the person behind him and sighed in relief. He didn't recognize the stranger.

_Now to hurry back to my place._

The loud echoes of footsteps crashing against the pavement could be heard as he was focused on hibernating in his apartment for the remainder of the day. It was Friday and he didn't have another class until Monday. That meant that it was the weekend. The weekend. The non stop partying. The peer pressure. The drugs. The alcohol. The mysterious blurred memories after a black out.

Right as his left shoe made contact with the first step that led to his apartment, a strong hand seized him in place. He flinched at the voice that spoke up dangerously close to his ear.

"I tried to get your attention early and you ignored me. How rude, wouldn't you agree, Ciel?" Alois smirked in his words as he pulled Ciel backwards by the strap of his messenger bag on his back. Ciel wanted to fight back as he nearly lost balance from the force behind the tug of Alois' grip. Alois snickered at Ciel, licking his earlobe teasingly slow. Ciel felt sick to his stomach from the sexual harassment.

"Just leave me alone!" Ciel shouted out as Alois twisted him around to face him. Tears stung at his eyes as memories partially flooded back into his head.

"Well, aren't you so polite to greet me this way, Ciel." Alois said, lowering his eyes to stare at Ciel's frightened expression. He fastened a tight hold on Ciel's shoulder as he reeled out his cellphone. He tapped on the screen twice until the screen lit up. Ciel's face flashed with heart stopping horror. It displayed a vulgar image of him on Alois' bed. He was on his stomach, fully naked and passed out. Ciel shook his head furiously in shock.

"What the hell, Alois?!" He nearly screamed out loud as he tried to grab the cellphone with the incriminating photo of him.

"If you don't come to my party tonight, then I will share this image for everyone to see."

Ciel's face paled, expression dropping as his heart was in his throat, "Why would you do this to me?"

Alois ignored Ciel's question, knowing that he could be quite sadistic. "Be there at seven tonight. Oh, don't forget to bring your swimsuit this time, idiot."

_Idiot? Idiot? This asshole!_ Ciel felt like reporting the blonde for hazing and blackmail.

_Would that even be possible? Alois has so many friends that would cover for him and then beat the shit out of me._

He was officially stuck between a rock and hard place.

Silence was the only reply that Ciel could properly react with. Would Alois really black mail him like this? Alois didn't care about Ciel's reputation. No, he only wanted to get his way. What a cunning, spoiled brat.

Later that evening, Ciel sighed heavily. He dug in his pocket and pulled out his doctor's cell phone number. Part of him wanted to tell Sebastian about everything, but then he thought about the amount of power that Alois held over him. Deciding to enter the number in his phone, he hid the piece of paper in a safe place in his small desk that was positioned near a window. He watered his small plant that was situated on his windowsill and walked over to his small kitchen. He prepared the kettle to make a cup of Earl Grey.

He was in deep trouble.

Only two hours before seven and Ciel was on the verge of another panic attack. His slender fingers shook as he contemplated dialing Sebastian's number. He wanted to call him. He was alone, depressed, and scared out of his mind. He felt himself gradually losing his sense of reality. He needed Sebastian.

As soon as Sebastian answered his cell phone, he didn't need to ask who was calling him as soon as he heard the familiar voice of Ciel. However, he sounded unstable. Something was wrong.

"Ciel? What's wrong?" There was no reply. Moments of silence and a choked back sob occupied the conversation.

"What is your dorm's number?" Sebastian probed impatiently, urging Ciel to relay him any details of his current location. He knew it was unprofessional, but Ciel's life was important to him.

"Building H... n-number 201. I need… help, pl… please, Dr. Michaelis!" Ciel's voice and soul sounded broken and severely distressed. Sebastian informed Ciel that he would be over there in less than ten minutes and to remain strong for him until he arrived.


	3. Chapter Three

Ten minutes passed. Ten excruciatingly slow minutes inched on. Ciel dropped his knife with an echoing clang against the silent kitchen floor. He heard hurried knocks at his front door. He kicked the silver blade aside and scurried over to the door with glistening lines of tears staining his gloomy face.

As soon as the door creaked open, Sebastian busted through and took the smaller male into his strong arms. Blindly shutting the door behind him, he twisted the lock to secure their privacy. Ciel broke down against Sebastian's chest, dampening his white button up shirt with moisture from his salty tears. Nasal mucus was dripping from his nostrils, which made a mess on Sebastian's previously clean shirt. He didn't care; he wanted to save Ciel's tortured soul.

Sebastian released his hold on Ciel momentarily and wrapped his arm around Ciel's shaking shoulders. Walking side by side, he guided them over to the large, vacant bed in the corner of the bedroom.

"Ciel," he gingerly grasped Ciel's pointed chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to pay attention to his words and stay grounded.

"I want you to breathe. Inhale for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds. Do it four more times." Ciel obeyed his instructions, slowly breathing with difficulty due to hyperventilation.

He just wanted to tell Sebastian everything.

He felt trapped. If others were made aware of the blackmail and hazing, then Alois would tarnish his entire world.

Sebastian yanked Ciel out of his maddening thoughts, dragging him into reality as he combed his dark, bluish black bangs aside. Ciel visibly relaxed into his touch and sighed out. He was still trembling in his place, breathing deeply.

Five minutes passed, Ciel started to simmer down with his head resting against his feather filled pillow. Sebastian was very, very reluctant at first about lying down next to his patient in the same bed. Ciel requested that they make themselves comfortable so he could disclose everything that happened earlier.

"Do you know... Alois Trancy?" Ciel asked quietly in a hushed whisper as if someone were eavesdropping on their conversation. He flipped onto his side to look Sebastian in his eyes. Sebastian subtly glanced away, twisting his mouth as he was thinking of a face to match up with that name. He hummed softly, racking his brain for any remembrance of this person in question.

"I've heard of him, but I don't know him personally." He admitted as he reached into his pocket to fish out his cell phone. He wanted to play some calming music for Ciel. It was a playlist that he created for Ciel after he left his office.

"Is music okay?" Ciel nodded as he watched Sebastian tap on his playlist and pressed the shuffled option. He placed the phone above the pillow that he was resting his head on and focused his undivided attention onto Ciel.

Ciel's cheeks burned lightly at the close proximity of them on his queen sized bed. An effortless, closed smile graced Sebastian's pink lips at his observation and nodded for him to start talking.

"Alois... " his voice was barely audible, making Sebastian move in closer to hear him. Ciel almost squealed at the closeness, but continued on as he felt his slender fingers rest on his forehead to move the bangs from his redden, puffy eyes.

"The party I told you about. He took a picture… It was when I passed out and… and he wants to blackmail me by... sh-sharing it," Ciel shamelessly released a sob, showing his deeply hidden pain after he confided in Sebastian.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Not only were these bullies terrorizing Ciel, but they were threatening him. He needed to carefully think about a resolution for this situation.

"I have... I have to be there at seven tonight..." Ciel started with a quiver in his voice, sounding depressed and conflicted. "He will do it, Dr. Michaelis."

He only had forty minutes to show up on time.

"I'll go with you then," he decided. Ciel's eyes widened as Sebastian sat up and grabbed his phone to pause the soothing music that was playing on a low volume. The lines between patient and doctor were starting to blur. He didn't want to risk his career, but Ciel was suffering and he wanted to solve his problems.

"Dr. Michaelis... Won't that be, I don't know... sus-suspicious?"

"I'll protect you. Now, go and take the medicines that I prescribed to you."

Blowing out a heavy sigh between his lips as he sat up, Ciel followed his order and departed into his kitchen to fill up a mug and halfheartedly tossed the pills into his mouth. The second Sebastian turned away, Ciel swiftly spit the medicine out into the sink. He rinsed them down the sink, making sure to push them through the holes that prevent debris from clogging up the pipes.

_ Like a few pills would really help me… Pssh, bullshit. _

Returning back into his bedroom from the small kitchen, Ciel changed into a pair of black swim shorts and a white tank top.

"Let's go back to my apartment. I need to change out of these clothes," Sebastian said as he rounded the corner to inspect Ciel. His body was slender and feminine, but was perfectly proportionate.

"Don't fret, we will make it on time, Ciel. I promise."

_ So many promises.  _ Ciel thought bitterly to himself as he cooperated.

On the way out of the apartment, Ciel's thoughts started to race as fast as his intense heart palpitations. Breathing out noisily, his reality started twisting back into the memories.

Claiming the passenger side and slamming the door shut, he howled out and vigorously shook his head from side to side.

"Why does fate have to be so cruel?" Sebastian noticed the sudden change in demeanor. Concern etched on his face as the engine started up. The medicine should have taken effect by now.

"Ciel?" He inquired apprehensively. His car began to grumble with a slight jerk backwards when he forced the car to reverse out of the parking space.

"Dr. Michaelis… I just want this to stop!" Irritation became apparent on Ciel's face. He gripped his head, feeling impure as Alois' face plagued his mind. His inability to recall the actions. He regretted his actions.

Why didn't he just leave when he had the chance?

Why couldn't he have been stronger?

Sebastian involuntarily chewed on his bottom lip. Inner turmoil clawed its way up from deep in his soul, causing him to become anxious himself. He helped many students at the university cope with their demons, but Ciel's scars were still fresh.

At a loss of words and lack of consolation, Sebastian remained silent until his car pulled into the familiar apartment complex that was relatively close to the university.

_ Was this a good idea to go to a place that would trigger Ciel's PTSD? Certainly not. _

At the same time, Ciel was at Alois' mercy.

Sebastian was at a fork in the road.

The car's smooth engine silenced, twisting the key and gently yanked it out of the ignition. Sebastian turned his attention to the twenty-year old and cringed at the sight. Tear streaks tattooed his reddened cheeks and his nose dripped with mucus. Ciel was not well enough to go anywhere.

_ You better be here Ciel. It's almost 7 and I was serious about what I said _

Ciel had read the text message over and over again obsessively, clenching the cell phone in his trembling left hand. Sebastian averted his eyes from Ciel's pain-stricken face to the object in his hand. He did not need to question who it was.

Squinting his eyes to sharpen his vision, he noticed there was not a contact name connected to the foreign number. The message was evidence of Alois. An ultimatum that would result in torturing Ciel further.

"Ciel," Sebastian spoke up in a conciliating tone of voice, "I will take care of this problem."

The said male disagreed with a shake of his head, not trusting his doctor's words. He had no faith in anyone. Not anymore. He was all alone in this war. Only him. He had to fight this battle alone.

_ Was living even worth it anymore? _ Ciel thought grimly as he contemplated smashing his phone into a million pieces. Perhaps escaping permanently would solve all of this.

"Nobody cares…" It was merely a whisper as Ciel reluctantly trailed behind his psychiatrist towards his apartment on the first floor.

As soon as the door closed behind Ciel's figure, his skin started to crawl. Fractured psychologically, his destructive hallucinations amplified when he found himself sitting down on a dark gray sofa in the decently sized living room. Sebastian's smooth voice was silenced as the flashbacks blared louder and louder. His fingernails clawed at the fabric under him, eyes darting from side to side as memories gradually became increasingly vivid.

"...Ciel, is that okay?" Sebastian's refined voice broke him out of the deafening, broken picture show.

"Dr. Michaelis?" Ciel gasped out, shrinking in his spot as the older male placed a hand on his thin shoulder.

"Just call me Sebastian."

Professionally, it was not permitted. However, he would allow Ciel and himself a more causal relationship. Besides, they had already crossed the lines of professionalism when Sebastian slipped Ciel his number.

"I don't want… I don't want to go to that party. I need help."

Sebastian nodded firmly, "Let me see your phone."

Ciel hesitated, "Why? Wh-What are you going to do?"

"Stop this before Alois goes any further."

Reluctantly, he handed Sebastian his cell phone and regretted it as soon as his property was in the other's hands.

Before Sebastian could wake up the darkened screen, the screen lit up with a sudden vibration. It was none other than Alois. He had sent an image in the text message. He swiped the screen and pressed on the message to open it.

A deep grimace on Sebastian's face made Ciel's body bolt up from the sofa.

"What happened? What did he send you? Sh-Show me!" Ciel started to panic, fully realizing that his doctor was not going to show him what elicited that perturbed expression.

With quick taps of his thumbs, Sebastian did not back down to this tyrant. If Ciel wasn't going to protect himself, then he would do everything in his power to take control of the situation.

_ If you share that, I will report you to the police. _

_ Time's up Ciel! _

There was a pause before another message alerted Sebastian. Meanwhile, Ciel was begging to find out what the conversation was about between the two men.

_ I sent it to everyone you loser _

A sharp inhale was heard followed by his strong jaw clenching as he twiddled his thumbs briefly before replying.

"What? What?" Ciel needed to know. What was going on? Did he show Sebastian the picture of him?

_ Thanks for the evidence. _

_ Tryin to be tough? You're a pussy Ciel. Hah, fuck off mate and enjoy what you deserve _

Sebastian could not erase the image of Ciel naked on the bed; unconscious and vulnerable. He stood there. Fear had immobilized him, leaving him utterly befuddled. How could someone not only violate Ciel, but then turn around and expose him to everyone?

Alois was an idiot. He gave Sebastian and Ciel the evidence that was necessary to report him.

_ Enjoy jail time. _

"You promised me, Sebastian…" Ciel sobbed out after the words left his mouth. Sebastian had handed the cell phone back to the younger man. His eyes closed with a soft, miserable sigh. His promise of protecting Ciel did not go as planned.

"We have the evidence, Ciel." Sebastian tried to reason with Ciel, who was definitely not taking the situation well. Understandably so.

"Th-That's it! I'm going home!" Ciel roared impulsively, tears rolling down his cheeks. Twisting on his heels, he sprinted over towards his only escape. He didn't want to live anymore. This was the solid evidence that enforced his decision.

_ This was the last straw! _

Sebastian lurched forward, grabbing the back of Ciel's white tank top and nearly tore it.

"Let me go!" He hollered, realizing that fighting against someone who was five or six inches taller than him was futile.

As soon as he had a secure hold, he gripped Ciel's forearms almost painfully. Ciel's steps came to a halt as he was restrained. He twisted Ciel around and held him closely. Ciel struggled violently in his tightening arms like a frantic fish out of water.

"You lied… you lied to me, Seba-Sebastian!" He shrieked, resentment festering deep inside and boiling over. Sebastian winced at his words. They rang true, although he was intent on repairing the damage that had been done. Justice  _ would _ be served.

Sebastian heaved Ciel's surprisingly light body into his arms and carried him over to his bedroom. He was becoming quite vexed by Ciel's resistance to listening to him.

"Let me down!" He bellowed loudly, most likely alerting the neighbors who resided on the second floor. Ignoring his constant demands, Sebastian cautiously placed Ciel on his enormous, neatly made bed. To his surprise, Sebastian's bedroom was immaculate.

Glancing around and surveying his surroundings, Ciel sighed out at the soothing ambiance. The furniture was balanced and the designs were zen. It was the opposite of the nightmare that he experienced a little over a week ago with Alois. Sebastian sat closely to him, hesitating before embracing him. He pulled Ciel awkwardly up onto his lap. Sebastian was officially risking his career. He locked his arms around Ciel's slender waist and breathed out.

"We will make it through this, Ciel."

"Don't lie to me, Sebastian." Ciel warned weakly, leaning his body into the secure embrace.

He squeezed his eyes tightly, snaking his arms around Sebastian's neck. The faint, mesmerizing scent of cologne infiltrated his nostrils. Sebastian was unmistakably entrancing. His small chin barely reached Sebastian's broad shoulders as he retracted his arms. A light blush burned his cheeks at the closeness. He was not used to this type of attention. It made him feel slightly weary, but consoled him at the same time.

His body tensed up as Sebastian gently pulled away from the hug. They gazed into each other's eyes, but Ciel shyly broke the eye contact as quickly as it happened. He twisted away from Sebastian's gaze. He saw something that he did not want to acknowledge.

Tears stung at the corners of his eyes and he released a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. He hated being this weak in front of Sebastian. Maybe he should have taken his medicine. Another dumb mistake.

"This is wrong... Dr. Michaelis, I'm your patient." Ciel didn't want to say it, but he felt insecure. He thought that Sebastian was trying to take advantage of him. Who could he trust anymore? Sebastian let him down.

He saw Sebastian as his doctor. He was just his psychiatrist.

Right?

He desperately wanted to see Sebastian that way.

But, he was starting to see Sebastian as more than his doctor.

The lines were blurring at lightning speed.

The obvious signs were there.

Ciel's words of reason sliced through Sebastian's heart. He inwardly shook his head, knowing that he was over stepping boundaries that should have not even been crossed in the first place.

"Ciel, you're right. You are my patient... And I might lose my job." Ciel frowned; guilt consuming him.

"I'm sorry-"

"But," Sebastian captured Ciel's chin in his hand, "You might just be worth it. I can't look forward to my future if it isn't including you."

Ciel's eyes widened dramatically, mouth dropping open slightly. His world spun out of control. Everything was moving in slow motion as his face was drawn closer to Sebastian's face. Their lips were centimeters apart. Breath lingering like a ritualistic dance. Fingers intertwined and hands interlocked as Sebastian tilted his head and closed the gap between them.

_ What's happening? This can't be real. _


	4. Chapter Four

They say that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith for what you want in life, but this was just impulsive of Sebastian. Despite the impulsiveness, it felt natural and necessary. The way that his plump, sensual lips massaged the younger's chapped, smaller lips in motions that neither could describe. The smacking of their plush pairs of lips created music in the room. Ciel's head was spinning. Was this a dream?

Disconnecting their hands, Sebastian's large hand slid gracefully down Ciel's left side and rested on his backside. Sebastian pulled him closer, giving Ciel another chaste kiss with a tiny grin. His cock was straining against the fabric. He wanted Ciel so badly. He really wanted to express his feelings towards Ciel. He moved his other hand to cup Ciel's heated up, blushed cheek. His thumb glided over the skin that was sticky with streaks of dried tears. Ciel's small body reacted with an involuntary arch, craving more closeness. He was woozy from lack of oxygen. The tantalizing kisses. Sebastian happily tightened his hold around Ciel, taking control of the passion. He started to kiss up and down Ciel's untouched neck, enjoying the visible shivers from him.

The sounds of heaving breaths occupied the tomb-like, hushed bedroom. Ciel was trapped in a daze, not able to register everything that just occurred between them. Sebastian bit his bottom lip, his pants were becoming uncomfortably tight. Ciel squirmed as his previously fogged state of mind cleared.

 _What just happened? Oh no._ Ciel nervously swallowed, hips pressed harshly against Sebastian's hips. His legs were wrapped around his waist.

"Is… um… Is this…" Ciel's eyes widened in embarrassment, shuffling to remove himself from Sebastian's lap. As he lifted himself off, his hand accidentally grazed over Sebastian's raging clothed erection. Ciel was inexperienced and naive, despite his age. The simple involvement with another man in such a manner was restricted in his past. Deep down inside the depths of his soul, this was one of the sinful desires that he had repressed for a long time.

"Wait, Ciel!" Sebastian called out, the sound of light rain drummed against the bedroom windowpane.

Ciel backed away from Sebastian on the bed, like a frightened prey trying to flee from its devilishly handsome predator. He felt very weak in the knees. His first kiss was with his psychiatrist. A man that was eight years older than him. They just kissed.

_This is bad… This is so wrong! My doctor just kissed me. I felt his dick. It was hard. Fuck, this is bad-_

"Ciel," Sebastian's suavely charming voice shattered him out of his berserk chants and self-doubt. He gave a firm shake of his fragile shoulders to reinforce his statement. "Ciel, please, don't be upset with me."

Tears burned his eyes, blurring his vision. He was in a world of trouble. A faculty member was now sexually involved with him, an explicit image of him was circulating on campus, and his anxious daytime nightmares were intensifying.

He had nobody except Sebastian, who just took advantage of him in his debilitating state.

"Y-You knew better! You took ad-advantage of me!" Ciel sobbed out dramatically in his standing place, allowing Sebastian to stabilize him with a tight grip of his jittery shoulders. He found himself being pulled into an endearing embrace, his face was pressed just below Sebastian's strong chest. He wanted to further his distance from Sebastian. He felt unlovable. This was just a fake scene in a movie where he was a victim and he only got pity from others instead of actual help.

Where was the resolution? When could he just get a chance to be happy?

His life was a tragedy.

His family? They died.

Friends? What are those? He only had enemies.

The anxiety, the depression, the hallucinations that were becoming so realistic where he could no longer distinguish his reality anymore.

Why couldn't they just stop?!

"It's not like that. Ciel, I don't know what came over me, but I can promise you that-"

"No!" Ciel barked up at Sebastian with tears flying from his tightly shut eyes as he shook his head violently and continued on with indignation in his eyes, "You can't promise me anything…" He looked down, raising his balled up fists to attack Sebastian, "Not anymore!"

Sebastian was crushed by his words, wincing as the two smaller fists pounded against his chest repeatedly. Ciel had every right to express these emotions. With a heavy sigh, Sebastian released his hold on Ciel. He stepped backwards to dodge the punches effortlessly. Ciel started to become lightheaded from the mixture of negative emotions.

Meanwhile, Alois was moaning as Claude kissed down his neck, enjoying the attention. Claude was simply a tool that he was using for his own pleasures. Both of them were heavily intoxicated.

In his living room, other party goers were either passed out or fucking each other. Grell and William were sharing obnoxious laughs and bags of chips outside; herbal, gray clouds of smoke filled the air above them.

Nothing was out of the ordinary. Alois wasn't concerned about Ciel's threats, because he never actually sent the explicit image out in the public. He wasn't born yesterday. He wasn't a rookie at hazing and blackmail, unknown to the ones that are still living. Ciel was too scared to fight back. Claude knew Ciel since the beginning of the summer semester, learning all of his weaknesses through observation and reading between the lines.

"Claude, that's enough."

"Are you not enjoying it?" Claude questioned impatiently, lifting himself partially off of the blonde that was lying beneath him.

"I'd enjoy it _more_ if you destroy Ciel and his evidence." That smirk was familiar to Claude, but he did not care about Ciel either. This wouldn't be his first time destroying a weakling. Weaklings had no right to exist. It's a dog eat dog world. Only the strong survive and the weak perish.

"Very well then," Claude nodded before placing a kiss against Alois' lips, "It shall commence Monday afternoon."

_Such a smart lap dog..._

Alois snickered with a smug smile as he felt Claude move down his body to tug down his swim trunks.

Groaning inaudibly at the sunlight that snaked its way through the ajar curtains and into his fuzzy vision, Ciel stretched out his arms and legs. Momentarily discombobulated, he lifted himself up and surveyed his surroundings.

_Sebastian…_

Ciel closed his eyes with a tiny sigh, deciding to leave the deserted apartment. He was fully clothed, but his body was slick with a thin layer of sweat. The searing heat from the sun was beating against the apartment. Glancing over at a metal clock on the far right wall, he stumbled backwards at the time.

"Fuck, I slept in _again_!" Ciel cursed to himself; that regretful sensation flooded his system.

_Wait… it's only Saturday._

Aimlessly wandering through the vacant rooms, Ciel jumped three feet off of the ground when he heard the front door open and close. Sebastian was home. Ciel dashed towards a closet, sweating profusely as his skin crawled. The images of Alois stormed into his head, causing him unbearable anguish.

Hyperventilating in terror, he peeked through the crack in the door that he purposely left open. He heard Sebastian drop two large plastic bags of groceries into the kitchen and then footsteps traveling to the once occupied bedroom.

"Ciel? Ciel, where did you go?" He called out curiously as his footsteps echoed against the sand colored carpet floor. After moments of exploring his bedroom, bathroom, and living room, he searched down the small hallway to open up a slightly opened closet door.

_...Nothing? Where did he go off to?_

Ciel had hurriedly tiptoed his way outside when Sebastian was exploring his bedroom and bathroom. Afraid of having to confront the taller man, Ciel started to walk around outside. He didn't have a car to escape. His stomach was rumbling audibly as his legs felt weak from not eating last night.

Sebastian held his restless and resentful head in his hands, concerned for Ciel's well-being.

_What if I was the reason? I did kiss him… but I wasn't taking advantage of him._

He knew that Ciel was not well. He was unstable. He had an inkling that he did not take the medicine last night.

Nearly ten minutes rolled on before Ciel returned back into Sebastian's apartment. It was an understatement to say that things were relatively awkward. Their eyes met as soon as he stepped inside. His racing heart slammed painfully against his rib cage as two amber eyes with a tinge of red studied him carefully. Every hair on his body stood as the image of Alois' face appeared in his head; the taunting blue eyes, the condescending smirk that could talk anyone down.

"Ciel," Sebastian spoke up, darting over to take Ciel into his arms, "it's okay. Nobody is going to hurt you." He stroked Ciel's bedhead hair, trying to soothe his unsettled nerves.

_I'm not stupid. Everyone is out to hurt me._

Ciel's eyes slowly shut closed as his shoulders hunched forward in defeat. A rippling tide of fatigue washed over him, causing his slender knees to buckle under him. Surprised by the unexpected motion, Sebastian lifted Ciel up into his muscular arms with ease.

"Let me down! I'm not a child!" Ciel complained as he rocked side to side in Sebastian's arms. He was fully aware that he was petite, but hated people picking him up like he was a fragile carton of organic eggs.

With a small chuckle, Sebastian shot back, "Well, I would certainly hope not."

Ciel huffed out childishly, rolling his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's strong neck to secure himself.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.

The phone vibrated loudly with a low chime in the other room on the dining table, throwing a temper tantrum, followed by a loud thud from it falling over the edge and onto the slick, wooden floor.

Bing!

A text message.

Bing, bing!

Two more messages sounded off as hastily as the first one. Ciel looked up into Sebastian's eyes that were scanning the messages. Ciel's mouth started quivering in suspicion.

_Where are you?_

_Hello?! Pick up the phone Ciel_

_Stop being a wanker and open the door_

Buzzz, buzz, bu-

"Hello?" Sebastian answered the voice, causing the annoyance on the other end to swallow his rants of fury. The voice was older; refined and mature. Alois' eyes widened, his phone now trembling in his hand.

"Wh-Who the bloody hell is this?!" Alois hollered into the phone, pacing obsessively around outside of Ciel's dorm at the university. Someone had Ciel's phone. Those text messages from last night. Was that someone else? Do they know Ciel? Who the fuck was this?

To answer Alois' question, Sebastian chuckled devilishly, placing a slender finger against his pert lips at a disapproving Ciel in his arms. He walked over to drop Ciel onto his comforting bed, leaned upwards, and twisted away from Ciel.

"Alois," his voice was laced with obvious indignation, "Ciel did not deserve to be treated this way. I will fix the damage you have done and make sure that you suffer. Good day."

Click.

Alois' defined jaw slackened with angrily squinted eyes. He stomped in place, nearly dropping his phone down the concrete steps. Curse words followed his actions. How dare he receive a death threat?

 _Ciel hired someone to protect him, huh?_ Alois thought to himself, ears fuming with overwhelming wrath. He detested Ciel and whoever this other person was.

Claude was nearby, witnessing everything with a questioning glare.

"What did he say?" Claude probed with a beckoning hand for Alois and himself to take their leave. With a turn of his cheek, Alois huffed out with low brows.

"Let's just say that we will destroy Ciel...and whoever he hired to protect his pussy ass."

Sebastian sighed out, handing Ciel's phone back to him before leaving to make lunch for them. Thunderous rumbles alerted both of them of their famished states. CIel blushed hotly, covering his slender stomach as a way to conceal its protests.

After they finished their minimal yet delicious lunch, Sebastian decided to drive Ciel back to his dorm. On their way to the dorm, Sebastian stealthy glanced at Ciel, whose ocean blue eyes flickered at the passing cars. Deep down inside, Sebastian did not want to release his hold of Ciel.

The moment the two men entered the dorm, Sebastian locked the door behind them and watched as Ciel's hips swayed. He disappeared behind his bedroom door without another word.

_Should I talk to him or leave him alone?_

Sebastian stood there awkwardly and contemplated on remaining there with Ciel. He really, _really_ cared about Ciel. He felt that his initial infatuation was becoming more than that, despite the unwritten rules of not continuing this type of relationship with a patient.

Was it… love? He was undeniably attracted to the smaller man, but he wanted to protect him. Ever since the first day he met Ciel in his office, his life was never the same.

"Sebastian, can you come over here?" Ciel's unique voice sounded off, cutting him out of his thoughts. Fully obliging, Sebastian nearly rushed over to Ciel's bedroom. He tilted his head to the side, which Ciel found adorable.

_Adorable? No, no, no! He's my psychiatrist. That's it._

Inching closer to the bed where Ciel was positioned, Sebastian stared down into Ciel's eyes full of turmoil. His eyes traveled down to the lips that he craved. Lips that he wanted to capture and show that Ciel was his everything.

There were no words exchanged between them. The atmosphere was still with the exception of their breathing singing in a soft, hushed rhythm; undisturbed and benevolent.

"I have a song for you called Hello, Anxiety." Ciel's defined eyebrow arched at what Sebastian said. He was half expecting to experience what happened between them last time.

_Wait, no. No, I was not expecting him to kiss me! I really am sick in the head._

"Hello, Anxiety?" Ciel echoed what Sebastian said, eyes following the motions of Sebastian fishing for his phone in the pocket of his trousers.

Before Sebastian could play the song for Ciel, deafening knocks could be heard at the front door. Ciel cried out in fear, lunging forward to cower against Sebastian's chest. His hands clutched onto Sebastian's clean, black tee shirt. That signature cologne fragrance sent Ciel over the moon.

"Just ignore them, Ciel. Focus on me," Sebastian instructed, cupping Ciel's chin and tilted it upwards so he was forced to obey. Without hesitation, Sebastian swiftly flipped Ciel onto his back. Face flushed bright red, Ciel shrunk under Sebastian's muscular body. Ciel's head pressed harshly against his pillow, trying to escape what was going to happen to him. Sebastian's eyes flashed with what could be described as lust and excitement.

"It's okay, I'm here to protect you." Ciel visibly relaxed at Sebastian's words, but only slightly. His body was aching for Sebastian's addictive mouth to caress his mouth.

Sebastian cradled Ciel's head gingerly, "Trust me."

Their lips connected, dancing slowly. Sebastian lightly sucked on Ciel's bottom lip, licking them teasingly. They meshed together once again, breaking Ciel from any disturbing thoughts. Briefly parting for an opportunity to breathe, Sebastian continued to deepen their forbidden kiss.

His wet tongue pressed against Ciel's inexperienced, pink lips. Sheepishly, his chapped lips separated, allowing Sebastian access to his innocent cavern. Noisy breathing resonated off of the walls with saliva dripping out from the corners of their mouths. Ciel's dainty body tensed up, a light layer of sweat covering his face. His member hardened against his black swim shorts, making Sebastian smirk against his lips.

The intrusive knocks reverberated throughout the dorm. Distracted momentarily by the ringing of his phone and the incessant knocks, Ciel was brought back to reality when Sebastian's hand blatantly grasped Ciel's arousal that was pressing against the fabric of his shorts. Ciel cried out softly, almost comparable to a moan of sexual gratification. He was conflicted with terror and relishing in the pulsating sexual tension between them.

"Seba… Sebast… mmhmmm… Sebastian, I…" Ciel moaned incoherently between kisses as his shorts slipped down partially. His mind was jumbled and muddy. He jumped once his mind cleared, straining to cover his obvious erection from Sebastian's greedy eyes. Feelings of self-hatred made Ciel hesitate, although his body would disagree with his mind.

"Ciel…" He hissed out approvingly, watching Ciel's hard dick spring out from the waistband with eagerness in its salute, "Are you consenting to this?"

Ciel swallowed, eyes turning away from Sebastian. All of the different, conflicting stimuli were wreaking havoc on him. His dick started to soften slightly, which made him extremely embarrassed.

"...I-I'm nervous, Sebastian… I want this, I-I mean, I don't know, but…" Ciel frantically whispered just loud enough for them to hear, "But all of this noise is freaking me out. I'm sorry!"

As soon as the words left Ciel's frenzied and gasping mouth, Sebastian tugged the shorts up and over his slightly hardened member, to his disappointment. Ciel was not fully consenting. Sebastian respected Ciel, not wanting to ruin anything between them. Now, only the beautiful image of Ciel's angelic body would be tattooed into his imagination.

"I respect you, Ciel." His voice was so sweet and considerate. It was as if Ciel were waving a steak in front of a starving dog's face.

The knocking eventually subsided, but not without a thunderous kick to the wood and harsh threats. Luckily, Sebastian parked his car far away from where Ciel lived. Alois and his thug friends would be on the front cover of the newspaper if any of his properties, including Ciel, were damaged.

"Well, I'm going to take my leave. Call me if you need me," Sebastian informed, gathering his things. He wearily watched Ciel, who was sitting on the bed with hunched shoulders.

"Okay…" Ciel nodded, getting up to walk Sebastian out of his dorm. That night was very hard for Ciel, but he managed to sleep his miseries away for what was left of the weekend.

The next two days were awkward for both of them. Ciel refused to speak with Sebastian and started calling him "Dr. Michaelis" again to reinforce their previous professional relationship as doctor and patient.

The kiss, the look in Sebastian's eyes, Alois, Claude, the picture of him, Sebastian seeing his privates. Too many things that were now affecting his studies. He was heavily distracted. The thoughts of Sebastian and his trauma from the party were mixing together like chemicals that could result in something deadly, something sinister.

_Ciel, listen to the song Hello, Anxiety._

Sebastian's alluring voice echoed in Ciel's ears as he stumbled through the crowds of students outside of the building that held his first class. He forgot his messenger bag today, but did not care too much. His professor was lucky to check his attendance, even though his existence did not matter.

Insulting expressions surrounded him on campus. They must have seen the picture of him. Why were they judging him? He was the victim here. Not them!

"Ciel!" Grell yelled out, hooking his arm around Ciel's neck. The scent of weed made Ciel choke and gasp for air. It was one of his triggers, the scent that brought back that miserable night.

"You weren't there on Friday. What gives?" The taller redhead asked with a chuckle, green eyes tinged red from being stoned. Ciel did not want to talk about it, especially if it was someone who was closely acquainted with Alois.

Who could he trust anymore? Even Claude fucked him over by not staying by his side at the party.

"I don't want to talk about it," was all he could mutter before launching himself forward to scurry over towards the shuttle bus area. Before he managed to round the corner, someone grabbed him from behind. Ciel gasped out, feeling a sharp thud against his temple before blacking out completely.

"Wake the fuck up, Ciel!" The said male groaned softly with a dull ache pulsating his head in rushing waves of pain. His throat was parched, burning inside and in desperate need of liquids. His breathing was labored, a heavy foot crushing his body. He cried out, coming to his senses of the situation. He was bare naked with a crowd of people sending him disgusted looks. They held their cell phones, making sure to capture the best angles for their own perverted amusements.

"Sebastian… h-help me…" Ciel felt hot tears roll down his cheeks, realizing that this might be the last time that he would see the person that actually cared about him. Everyone else used him as a scapegoat to relieve their mundane, pathetic lives.

" _Sebastian_?" Alois mocked condescendingly at Ciel's naked body in a fetal position. He shook violently, sobbing out as Claude grabbed his head of hair without mercy and lifted him up to expose his genitals.

"Your little _boyfriend_ isn't here to save you." Ciel struggled to escape but it was no use, his hands were tied behind his back. His wrists were sore and bleeding from his vain attempts to free himself.

Alois searched through Ciel's cell phone, sliding his thumb in various directions. "What is this boyfriend's name? How about he comes to save you?"

Ciel shook his head, he didn't want Sebastian to get hurt from these ruthless thugs. They were equipped with deadly weapons that he was unaware of. Ciel's legs kicked frantically when Alois' smirk widened as he pressed on Sebastian's contact name.

"No... St-Stop! Leave him alone..." Ciel cried out feebly, slamming his knees together to hide himself as Claude forced him to sit on his bottom. The cement was coarse against his sensitive skin. He was overly exposed and vulnerable.

Immediately, Sebastian answered the phone when he saw Ciel's name. He had not heard from him since Sunday morning. He was beyond distressed, wondering what was going on and terrible scenarios.

"Ciel, are you okay?" He asked, uneasy of the answer that he might receive. An obnoxious, spoiled chuckle sent shivers down Sebastian's spine and a distant, strangled cry for help from Ciel could be heard in the background.

"Come save your _little prince_ before I destroy him," Alois roared with laughter, "I'll give you a hint: He's near a body of water. Good luck. You have fifteen minutes before Ciel ends up swimming with the fishes."

The line went dead. Sebastian panicked, hastily dialing Ciel's number to be met with his voicemail.

Ciel shrieked in fear as he was tossed in the trunk of Alois' red sports car. Darkness surrounded him, he whimpered as the engine started up with a mean growl. He vaguely remembered that they were in a strange building, but apparently these monsters had another idea in mind.

Ciel hoped and prayed that he would live to see Sebastian. To tell him that he felt strong feelings for him. He was only twenty years old! He still had so much more time to accomplish things. He took his life for granted. He could have done so much more. Regret swallowed him whole.

The screeching echo of tires ricocheted throughout the streets as Sebastian floored it. He ran intersections, no longer worried about cops or hitting anyone. The love of his life was in danger. Fuck everything. Alois was going to die if he dared to touch a hair on Ciel's head. There _would_ be bloodshed.

"A body of water…" Sebastian muttered, drifting his car around the corner. There were two areas that he could think of. He just prayed that his decision would save Ciel's life. So, instead of making a right, he turned left towards the direction of a cliff that overlooked the largest ocean. It was closer to the university compared to the lake in the other direction near downtown. Alois seemed like the type to get rid of someone's existence without leaving a trace. The ocean it was then.

Five minutes left. Five fucking minutes. Sebastian's foot never let off the gas pedal except for the occasional turns here and there.

The location was coming into view, a red sports car, another large van, Ciel's tied up, naked body in the grass, a crowd of people filming him with their cellphones.

"Hey! Get the fuck away from him!" Sebastian screamed murderously, slamming his car door behind him. He launched himself full force ahead, lethal dagger ready to strike in hand. His eyes were set on Alois' figure.

"Great timing you have, Sebastian. Now, fight me, bitch."

"Gladly." Sebastian growled out, swiping his dagger at Alois' smug face. Alois majestically dodged the oncoming attack, ordering Claude and William to help him fight.

"Three against one, huh?" Sebastian asked breathlessly, avoiding the attacks thrown at him. He was barely scathed, throwing punches and kicks in different directions. He managed to slice William's arm open, which infuriated Grell to no extent. He yelled for his boyfriend to forfeit the fight, which left Alois and Claude to fight Sebastian.

"So, you're his doctor?" Alois snickered loudly, out of breath. Surprisingly, he landed a lousy punch on Sebastian. As lousy as it was, Sebastian lost his footing. He bounced back and got into a defensive stance.

"I didn't only get a master's degree in psychology…" Sebastian said pridefully, landing his own punch and slice on Alois' chest.

Claude slugged Sebastian in the jaw after he said, "I also got a degree in kicking _your_ ass!"

The focus was no longer directed towards Ciel, to his relief. He needed to think on his feet, figuratively. He flipped onto his stomach against the grass and twigs, cautiously moved his naked, exposed body like an inchworm, and managed to hide on the other side of the car.

Sebastian was on the ground, cupping his injured jaw as Claude and Alois and Claude stood above him. He felt blood spilling from his mouth and a painful cracking of his jawbone as he smirked at them. Quickly realizing Ciel had moved his location, he tossed his dagger in the direction of Ciel. The boy was smart, he needed privacy to do what he could to escape the binds around his wrists.

"No time to get distracted now," Alois sneered down at Sebastian. His cerulean eyes widened, wheezing out when Sebastian lunged his midsection forward, bending his knees against his chest quickly, and used all of the strength in his legs to kick him in his chest. He did a backflip, twisted around once he caught his balance, and landed a nasty punch across Claude's head. He was out like a light.

_One down, one to kill._

"Claude!" Alois cried out, trembling on the ground and clutching his blood stained chest. A few of his ribs were fractured from the assault. Tears welled up in his eyes, trying to get sympathy from Sebastian. That was the last thing that Sebastian would ever give this brat. Sympathy? Not going to happen. Not in this lifetime.

Sebastian hacked up a mouth full of bloodied mess and spit it in Alois' bruised up face. Next, he stormed over and raised an angered fist at the crowd of students filming him. He snatched all of their cellphones after threatening to end their lives and tossed them off of the cliff and into the endless, unmerciful ocean.

Ciel was fidgeting with the dagger, but was unable to free himself. Everyone scattered like roaches as Sebastian worked at cutting through the restrictive binds around Ciel's thin wrists.

Alois barely managed to escape with an unconscious Claude in his sports car as Sebastian struggled to lift up Ciel's light body. He wasn't weak, he was severely exhausted from the fighting earlier. But, Ciel meant the world to him and he had to be strong for him.

"Let's get you home, Ciel. Just breathe and rest your eyes until we get back to your dorm." Sebastian's voice was eerily calm, which made Ciel nervous. Sebastian was not in good condition.

Against better judgement, Ciel snatched Sebastian's car keys and suggested that he would drive them back. Sebastian might have a concussion. They were not going back to his dorm. No, they were headed straight for the emergency room.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is explicit content. Enjoy! ;)

Sebastian's irises nervously darted over to Ciel, who was stomping the breaks to the floor at every twist and turn. Sweat trickled down the side of his forehead. His body jerked forward against the seat belt at the abrupt stops.

_Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to give him the keys, dammit..._

"Ciel..." He was on edge. "Where are you taking me?" Sebastian questioned apprehensively, holding onto the door handle above, watching wearily as Ciel's hands gripped the steering wheel in response.

After a brief pause of silence and harsh turn, "The hospital, Sebastian. You're hurt!" Ciel was forcing his foot down further against the gas pedal, and ran a red light without any signs of hesitation. Sebastian's eyes widened as an oncoming car flew through the green light. They nearly escaped death, until two other cars collided into each other. They tackled their car at such high speeds.

It was like everything was in slow motion, but it happened so fast. Neither of them were able to process what was happening until it was too late.

"Ciel!" Sebastian managed to yelp out, left hand flying over to hold onto Ciel's shirt while the car flipped over several times. The monstrous impact sent Ciel's head crashing against the airbag that deployed too late, splitting some of his head open. Blood seeped out of the gashes furiously while Sebastian's head collided unpleasantly against the window, cracking it into a million pieces of dangerous glass shards.

There was silence, although screams of witnesses could be heard in the distance. Three or four people held phones to their ears, calling for help at the heartbreaking scene. Ciel was no longer breathing and Sebastian was unconscious by the time the car was on its side. Suddenly, the engine started to steam, looking like a thunderous mushroom cloud after an explosion.

Blood splatters coated the interior, staining it indefinitely. Just seconds before the deafeningly loud fire fighter's truck arrived at the scene, their bodies were immolated; having no chance of survival. The car was engulfed in a fury of hellish flames and everything faded to ashes after the powerful water doused the totaled vehicle and dead bodies inside.

... ... ... ... ...

Ciel's small figure convulsed on the medical bed and a blood curdling scream alerted the medical staff in the hallway. Flustered expressions surrounded the berserk male who thrashed in the bed; large, durable, white leather straps securely held his chest, wrists, abdomen, and ankles down. His small, thin legs were also strapped down so he could not buck his knees upwards. Anxiety surged through his little body when a doctor in a white coat rushed into the room, equipped with a tranquilizer in hand.

"Seba-Sebastian! Sebastian! Sebastian!" Ciel tightened his eyes shut and called out his mantra. He continued heaving and struggling against the unmerciful binds that restrained him. What did he do to deserve this treatment? What the hell was going on?

"N-No! Don't touch me!" He continued shrieking in pure hysteria when a blonde nurse turned his face harshly and firmly held it against the cotton-filled pillow, exposing his untouched pale neck. He was scared. The needle tore through his flesh, making him shamelessly cry out for help. The tranquilizer worked within seconds as his watery eyes grew heavy lidded and his limbs relaxed visibly. A single tear escaped out of his left blue eye, watching the nurses and doctor exited the room without another word.

Ciel's dull eyes floated over towards the opposite wall; his vision blurring from the effects of the tranquilizer and the undeniable pain in his heart.

He missed Sebastian.

 _What happened? Am I dead?_ He thought bitterly, allowing a rushing crowd of cunning demons to invade his deliciously vulnerable mind.

 _The car crash. The fight. Alois, Claude, Grell, Will, that party, the drugs, the alcohol, the molestation._ His mind was racing; everything was too overwhelming, which distressed him. Before he knew it, he reluctantly drifted into a deep slumber like sand slipping effortlessly out of one's hands.

There was an ugly buzz that hovered just above the quiet of the medical room and a silhouette that moved across the fluorescent lighting. Ciel's eyes weakly cracked open, realizing that his body was still numb. He felt lifeless, immobilized, at the mercy of others.

"Am I dead?" was all Ciel's hoarse voice could mumble out, but no words came out. He glanced to the side as a bouquet of gorgeous roses were set on a counter top nearby. They brightened up the mundane, light blue colored room; a sparkle of sterling silver roses captured his foggy attention. They had a rather pale lavender color with a mixture of silver and white undertones. He ignored the unfamiliar person who placed them down.

"Ciel, I need you to pull through." Someone pleaded over him, the voice refined and deep, but soft spoken with a gentle tone. Although it was clear to everyone in the room, Ciel found the words to be incomprehensible to his ears. The person held his small, feeble in their larger hand. His pink tongue licked at his numb lips. He swore he knew that voice from somewhere.

An unfamiliar female voice nearby said solemnly, "He probably can't hear you." The person who said it left the room with echoing footsteps created by high heels, pale hair swinging side to side as her hips swayed out of vision.

Ciel groaned out, eyes blinking lazily. His vision started to sharpen as well as his hearing. "Nn… Sebastian?" He felt the large hand holding his dainty hand tighten slightly in acknowledgement. A smile graced their lips with pity displayed on the rest of their face.

His eyes glinted with happiness up at his handsome psychiatrist, hopefulness blooming in his heart as he strained to lift himself up. The straps permitted him from moving a mere centimeter. All he wanted to do in that moment was embrace the tall man and melt into his arms.

"What happened…?" Ciel's voice trailed off, hoarseness apparent in his voice from all of the previous screaming. He couldn't move his wrist an inch, but held the larger hand as if it were his lifeline.

"You are not well," Sebastian's eyes lowered, gentle fingertips tracing the outline of Ciel's childish face. His thumb brushed over Ciel's slightly parted, chapped lips. Ciel's lips closed tightly into a deep frown and his quivering eyebrows gradually arched downwards. He knew it was childish to behave this way, but he needed Sebastian to save him.

"I thought you had d-died! We got into a crash, Sebastian! Don't you remember?" His claim was met with confusion in Sebastian's eyes.

 _Why is he looking at me like that? Why is he pulling away?!_ Ciel's eyes widened, hand struggling to grasp Sebastian's retreating hand.

"Ciel, I don't know what you are talking about…" His voice trailed off, eyes averting down to the floor before he looked up to Ciel and continued with a soft voice, "You've been in a coma for a few months."

"A… _coma_?" Ciel couldn't stop his thoughts from being broadcast out loud. His world was spinning down a drain of utter bewilderment.

"Yes," He started with a surprised look as he drew himself closer to Ciel, "You sought after me to talk about a party that you went to, you left my office, and I didn't hear from you, even though I gave you my number."

Ciel was beyond stunned at this point, nothing was adding up. So much had happened since he called Sebastian to his apartment. He thought hard, eyebrows furrowed, back to what happened after he left the office that day.

"But-But I did call you! I was thinking of killing myself and called you! Don't you remember?!" He was becoming hysterical again, straining to break through his restraints. Alas, it was futile. Sebastian sent him a befuddled look, lips turning downwards into a frown.

"The police found you in your apartment, Ciel. You were bleeding out. Alois- I believe his name was- called for help after he discovered you." Ciel shook his head violently at the mention of the deranged man who violated him and threatened to leak out that explicit photo of him to everyone on campus.

"Alois molested me! H-He was lying!" Ciel barked hoarsely at the top of his lungs, his stomach churning. The first tranquilizer wore off moments ago.

Sebastian stepped back, extremely cautious of his patient freaking out on him, and called out to a nurse to help calm Ciel down. Ciel flailed helplessly in the bed, mistrustful eyes flickering from Sebastian then to the nurse with another damned tranquilizer in her gloved hand.

"Seba-Sebastian! Don't let them hurt me! Help me! I'll be good, I'll be good!" He besought frightfully, tears pricking at the corners of his beautiful yet crazed eyes, trying to negotiate with his psychiatrist as the needle pressed against his neck once again.

"NO!" He hollered out, face flushed against the pillow from the nurse's hand holding him still; the medicine was injected into his bloodstream. After a few moments, Ciel's body visibly fell limp against the bed. His eyes glazed over and his mouth gaped open involuntarily. His fists were no longer clenched tightly.

_Sebastian… Why won't you believe me? It wasn't a dream… or was it?_

"Ciel, this is for your own good." Sebastian's fingers combed the blackish blue hair out of Ciel's half lidded eyes with ease. He hushed the already quiet male, leaning down towards Ciel's small body locked down against the bed and pressed a kiss to his sweat slicked forehead once the medical staff were nowhere to be seen.

"..." Ciel couldn't speak or move as Sebastian cupped his heated up cheek with his large hand gingerly and brought their lips together again. Ciel released a drowsy moan as his numb lips were massaged against Sebastian's juicy lips. Sebastian heaved out a heavy sigh as he leaned upwards, disconnecting their lips. His fingers slid away and out of reach. Ciel was left in a temporary daze. If what Sebastian said were true, then this was their first kiss. Ciel blushed in frustration; this wasn't what he expected of his first kiss.

Ciel whimpered out, "...Water." His throat was parched and the nurses ignored his state except when he went crazy, then they came to the rescue with a tranquilizer.

Sebastian turned on his heel and walked over to a nearby sink to fill up a small, off-white cup with generic flowers adorning it. He returned to see Ciel falling in and out of consciousness.

Sebastian looked over his shoulders twice after placing the water cup down and pressed a button to incline the younger's body into a slanted seated position.

"Here," he picked up the cup, careful not to let the liquid splash out, and placed it against Ciel's dry lips, "Drink it slowly."

Ciel's hooded eyes struggled to focus on Sebastian as the cup was tilted and chilled water poured itself past his numb lips. As soon as the water lubricated his scratchy throat, he bit down on the cup's lip and tried to hungrily swallow the liquid. After the water was gone, he cleared his throat and sighed out in relief. His head fell forward against his chest, groaning at his powerless physical state. This was too much for his small body to handle. Didn't the nurses and doctors realize that his dainty body couldn't handle it? The amount of medicine that was injected in his bloodstream was too much.

"They will release you in three days," Sebastian silenced Ciel's thoughts, "But, if you act wild again, they will send you to a mental institution." A small, dissatisfied sound trickled out of Ciel's mouth followed by a cute pout.

Before Ciel could say anything to his beloved, a nurse interrupted them, much to Ciel's dismay.

"Mr. Michaelis, your time is up." Sebastian nodded at the nurse with a fake smile plastered on his lips. He didn't want to leave Ciel to his destructive thoughts, but it was protocol to not stay longer than required.

"I'll be back, I promise, Ciel. But promise _me_ something," he said, tilting Ciel's chin upwards so their eyes could connect, "Be good, so I can have your little body in my arms again." Ciel's dull, deep sapphire eyes sent Sebastian a silent agreement, not able to nod or talk due to his fuzzy mind and numb lips.

The nurse stepped into the room with an expectant look gracing her features. Sebastian blew Ciel a secretive kiss with a pucker of his lips before standing up to leave the room. The nurse followed behind Sebastian, eyeing his backside in amusement. The man was deliciously fit and healthy under his white button-up shirt and his ass hugged his black slacks enticingly.

The following three days were complete hell for Ciel. He was a guinea pig to the doctor, feeding him so many different pills to help him. He groaned out as he was forced to swallow a bitter pill. If anything, the medicine did calm his mind, but made him numb to the world around him. The traumatic thoughts were still there, but not as vivid as before.

"Careful," a voluminous nurse said kindly as she held Ciel's shorter body still as his sock clad foot stepped onto the scale.

He wobbled slightly as she fidgeted with the scale and pushed it to the left and a little to the right as the metal piece at the end balanced perfectly. She whispered to herself, "Ninety-seven pounds… Alright now, your height. Turn around, please." Ciel found himself turned around and forced himself to stand up as straight as possible. She fidgeted with the measurements and then lifted it up, writing down the acquired information.

"Five feet and one and a half inches tall." She inwardly judged him on his weight and height. He was almost underweight, but according to his BMI calculations, he was on the edge of underweight and normal weight.

"How old are you, Ciel?" The nurse asked politely, wrapping an arm around the short male. She assumed that he could not be a day older than fifteen or sixteen. Perhaps he was a late bloomer and had not hit his growth spurt.

"I will be twenty-one in December…" His voice was monotone, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. His heavy lidded eyes floated around his surroundings as he was taken back to the medical room that he had been in since who knows when. He was in a coma… How long?

"How long have I been in this coma?" He finally asked what had been on his mind since he was alone in his medical room, waiting impatiently for Sebastian's return.

"Oh, Ciel, the doctor didn't tell you?" Ciel shook his head and sat down carefully onto the medical bed with his hands supporting his body as he did so.

"Two months…" Her voice trailed off when Ciel's eyes widened considerably with clenched hands by his sides at the answer.

" _Two months_?" His voice echoed hers; a puzzled expression painted onto his childish face. "There's no way…" His voice was inaudible as the nurse patted his shaky shoulders.

What happened to his schooling?

His apartment?

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck... this is bad!_ Ciel's stoic face did not show it, but there was a raging war inside his head. The medicine's effects were strong and reminded him of that bloody tranquilizer.

"Ciel, the doctor will be in shortly." The nurse from before broke him from his worrisome thoughts as her heels clicked out of the room. Suddenly, his spiteful yet distressed looking medical doctor held paperwork in his hands.

"Here are your release forms, just sigh right here, there, and on this page." The doctor handed Ciel a pen and clipboard to stabilize the papers. He mindlessly scribbled a signature that rivaled the man in front of him on the designated spaces. "Good," he took the clipboard and pen as he turned his heel, "Follow me. There's someone waiting in the lobby to take you home."

Ciel dragged his sock covered feet against the chilled hospital floor, trying to keep up with his doctor's hasty pace. They rounded a corner with the lobby and front desk coming into view. There, sitting on a couch with a magazine in his hands, was Sebastian. He could just cry in that moment, seeing his favorite person in the entire world.

"Sebastian!" He nearly tripped over his own feet as his body flung forward into Sebastian, who was trying to stand up and brace himself for the loving attack. Without any resistance, Sebastian accepted the hug and patted Ciel on his head before nodding at the medical staff. He pocketed the medicine and paperwork in a messenger bag that he brought with him.

"Let's go home, Ciel." Sebastian wrapped an arm around the petite male and guided him outside. The rays of sunlight temporarily blinded Ciel's eyes, forcing his hand to curve over his eyes against his temple to block them out. Upon sitting in the passenger seat of an unfamiliar car, Ciel raised an eyebrow. "You got a new car? What happened to the other one?"

Sebastian laughed, ruffling the youth's hair lovingly from the driver's seat, "This is the one that I've always driven. What? Too old fashioned for you?"

Ciel lips tugged upwards in a smile, cheeks heated up a bright red shade when he felt Sebastian lean down to press a chaste kiss against his temple.

They drove carefully, following the traffic rules and slowing down at every yellow light. The last thing Sebastian needed was Ciel freaking out before he told him the news that would change his life. His old life would be put behind him, hopefully forever.

Twenty minutes passed by before Sebastian's blinker sounded off and a left turn was made into Sebastian's subdivision. Ciel's eyebrows furrowed and opened his mouth to let out a breathless, "What?"

Sebastian ignored him momentarily as he took another two turns and pulled into his driveway. Ciel grunted out, "I thought you lived in an apartment?" There was a chuckle from the older man. He opened his door, rounded to Ciel's side, and opened the door for him like he was a princess.

"I've always lived here. For two years now, come to think of it. Time sure does fly…" His voice trailed off, sounding somber and bittersweet. Ciel fussed as he found his body being lifted up and into strong arms.

"H-Hey! I'm not helpless, Sebastian! I can walk on my own just fine." All that Ciel heard was an amused chuckle from Sebastian, feeling the warm air from inside the home welcome both of them. He swore that his jaw fell to the ground at the features inside of Sebastian's home. It was immaculate. Just like in his 'dream' when they went into the apartment. Everything was orderly and no trace of dust could be detected to the naked eye.

Two days later, Ciel's mind was traveling into dangerous areas. Sebastian held a cup of water and his medicine as he stepped into the bedroom that they shared together.

"Ciel, come take your medicine." Ciel's fallen expression made Sebastian cringe, "It will make you feel better. Ciel, I know you have been skipping your dosages late-"

"No, they make me feel sick! I feel like a zombie, and I don't feel like myself anymore." Ciel's complaints halted Sebastian's suggestions. He huffed nosily after he expressed himself. He's had more energy lately, but his traumatic memories plagued his mind again. It was a double edged sword, really.

"You _need_ to take them," Sebastian urged, grasping Ciel's cowering form on their full-sized bed, "You don't have a choice."

 _Like hell he will make me take that shit!_ Ciel thought with a grunt as he realized that he was faced with a losing battle. Sebastian's fingers tickled Ciel's sides, causing the boy to involuntarily open his mouth to release a gasped giggle and pressed the pill past Ciel's lips.

"Good boy." Sebastian smiled, avoiding the small fist that nearly decked him in the jaw. Ciel grumbled lowly, not wanting to look at Sebastian. The very second Sebastian turned his attention to walk into the bathroom, Ciel expertly gave a forceful cough as he pretended to sneeze and chucked the pill out of his mouth. He had skipped two days worth of medicine and this would be the third. He was resistant to taking those treacherous pills that changed his personality.

Ciel's eyebrows furrowed briefly, but were raised at what Sebastian was saying and doing in front of his eyes.

"I'm going to take a bath. Care to join?" Sebastian asked with a smirk as he appeared out of the bathroom door, flirting with Ciel. He approached Ciel and started to unbutton his black shirt slowly. He sensually shouldered it off to pool onto the floor. Next, Ciel's hungry eyes watched as Sebastian tugged his dark washed jeans ever so slowly to the ground. After flinging the pants into the laundry basket nearby, he swayed his hips in the direction of the bathroom. Ciel's face was bright pink, eyes dancing as Sebastian turned slightly to look over his broad shoulder, giving him a wink.

"I know you want to, Ciel. Don't be shy... so come. I won't bite…" A devilish smirk tugged at his lips, "too hard." Ciel felt like his head was going to explode with bashfulness, his ears turning a bright shade of red. He drooled at the sight of Sebastian, who was nearly nude right before his own dancing eyes. The way his muscles flexed under the illuminating light above him. His could not will his curious eyes away from the living masterpiece before him. And this beautiful man was waiting on _him_.

 _This better not be another bloody dream!_ Ciel brushed away the thought and focused on the temptation in human form.

Without delay, Ciel stumbled over clumsily to Sebastian's awaiting body, pretending like the medicine was working, in the doorway. He looked away like an innocent schoolboy on his first date. His heart was throbbing a mile a minute, a needy look in his eyes and his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "Can you help me, _Doctor Michaelis_?"

Now, it was Sebastian's turn to blush, which he rarely did.

He composed himself as quickly as he became unraveled, clearing his throat, and encircled his arms around Ciel's taunting body. Lifting him up in his arms, he placed Ciel on the bathroom counter with a light thud, kissing up and down his pale neck without asking permission. Ciel asked for it. Sebastian took a step back to rip the shirt that Ciel was wearing off in one fluid motion. Ciel squeaked out at the sting of cold air hitting his nipples. His shorts were unbuttoned at lightning speed along with his tight, silky boxer briefs.

Hissing out at the sight of Ciel's leaking erection, Sebastian licked the seam of his lips, preparing to indulge in his desires. "You have _no_ idea, Ciel... how bad I've wanted this... _you_." He breathed hotly against Ciel's warm ear as he tweaked his hardened nipples, eliciting a high pitched intake of air. His fingertips brushed dangerously close towards Ciel's straining member, relishing in the way he made Ciel react so easily.

Ciel released a lusty groan, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck, pulling him into a kiss. He wanted more contact, he needed more. Ciel surprised himself, making the first move. His hands moved upwards to tug on Sebastian's locks as their lips meshed together and parted with a popping sound. Ciel gasped for air before Sebastian pulled his head back and tilted it to deepened their kiss. He sucked on Ciel's bottom lip, enjoying the flesh between his teeth, and licked right under his bottom lip. His large hands navigated gracefully towards two satin smooth yet firm globes, and gave them a teasingly squeeze of appreciation, spreading them briefly. He pressed his chest against Ciel from the passionate kiss, making his back shiver from the chilled contact of the mirror behind him.

"Sebastian..." Ciel breathed out, eyes glazed over and heavy. Sebastian studied Ciel's panting, blushed face with a smirking smile. "I've never done this... before." Ciel hated to admit it, but the kissing they had done in the past was simply a visual he had seen while he was in his coma.

His eyes glazed over Ciel's small, feminine body leaning back to show him all of his features. He placed his large hands on Ciel's small knees, spread them apart, and moved inwards to circle his arms around Ciel's slim waist. Ciel wrapped his little legs around Sebastian's waistline as much as he could and held onto the broad shoulders as he felt himself disconnect with the hard counter.

"What are you doing?" Ciel asked swiftly until he felt Sebastian shuffle off his own boxers and gasped when he felt Sebastian's hand squeeze his left cheek teasingly.

"Taking a bath." After Sebastian said that, the water started roaring deafeningly out of the faucet and into the large bath tub. Bubbles started foaming instantly once the rushing water made contact with the solution, giving off a strong cinnamon scent, which confirmed that this was premeditated.

_Sneaky Sebastian…_

Sebastian carefully stepped into the bathtub with Ciel clinging onto him for _dear life_ , his bangs falling over his eyes. This made Sebastian chuckle at the observation. Ciel raised an eyebrow, but found himself dunked under the bubbly water. He resurfaced with a few choking sounds tearing from his throat and a grunt of disapproval towards Sebastian.

After Ciel composed himself, gulping in lungfuls of breath like a fish out of water, he glared up at Sebastian. Ciel inwardly smirked to himself with a provoking look in his eyes; he would get back at him.

"Well, that killed the mood. Guess we can't do anything, but wash ourselves now." Ciel decided to play hard-to-get with Sebastian as punishment. A quirked eyebrow and smirk graced Sebastian's face, making the drops of water trickle down his cheek. Sebastian could see right through Ciel's tricks, but decided to play along. His hands traveled under the foamy, steamy water and grasped Ciel by his waist.

Picking up a wash cloth nearby, Sebastian rubbed it over Ciel's forearms, sucking in an appreciative hiss as he yanked him closer to his muscular body. "I need to clean you, then. You've been a _dirty_ patient." Ciel caught a glimpse of Sebastian's smirk; his plans foiled.

Ciel scrambled as his body was flipped over, hands clutching onto the edges of the bathtub to prevent his head from going under the puffy bath water. He felt Sebastian's body, hovering over his like a shield. Warm breaths tickled Ciel's neck as Sebastian's succulent lips sucked lightly on the skin. Butterfly kisses dotted his neck, not leaving a single mark against his porcelain skin.

"Seba-Sebastian... Oh, god." He could not think clearly as he arched back against Sebastian's throbbing cock. He didn't have to look back to know that it succeeded his size. He wiggled against Sebastian in a less than innocent manner; wanton moans tearing through his throat when he felt Sebastian's finger trace circular motions around his tightness.

"This is what you get for getting yourself into such a _compromising_ position," Sebastian commented slyly, grasping Ciel's ridged, heated appendage. He leaned forward more, twisting Ciel's face over his shoulder and his lips stole Ciel's lips once again. Sebastian rolled his hips teasingly against Ciel's shuddering body, letting him feel his meaty length slide between his tight cheeks from behind. He jolted at the warm embrace, moaning at the up and down motions of the elder's hand. The soapy water slid down to the base of his cock and his sac was fondled with the other hand. Ciel's hands released the edge of the bath tub with a light gasp. Sebastian couldn't wait any longer. He needed to feel Ciel's body, inside that tight warmth. Right now.

Ciel didn't need to know where he was being taken, sensing Sebastian nearly slip and tumble to the ground from the slippery floor beneath his feet. Fuck toweling off.

As soon as Ciel's sopping wet body crashed against the lush duvet, Sebastian crawled over him like a predator conquering its fallen prey. Water dripped relentlessly onto the bedding, but neither could care less. Sebastian leaned down on top of Ciel, whispering in his ear softly, "Ciel, what's your fantasy?" Ciel wasn't sure how to answer that question, his mind was somewhere else.

"You..." He breathed out finally with cracked open eyes, bucking his hips upwards to gain friction between them. Sebastian leaned back onto his knees, proudly showing off his giant cock to Ciel, satisfied with that answer and eyed his small figure. It needed his attention and Sebastian was more than willing to execute that.

Sebastian's hands shot out to spread Ciel's trembling legs and his tongue trailed along his smooth inner thighs, enjoying the small mews from Ciel's mouth. Sebastian was going to punish his patient, tracing his slick tongue near Ciel's stiffness between his legs. His tongue snaked around Ciel's length, twirling it and sucking at the tip. Clear precum spilled lightly into Sebastian's hungry mouth, lapping it up as his tongue dipped into the slit. He licked the underside, captured it in his mouth, and bounced his head at a pleasant pace. His crimson dark brown eyes beaming at Ciel's closed eyes and gasping, little rosy mouth.

"Ahh... Mmmm...! Sebastian... it feels so... just please, don't stop!" Ciel cried out incoherently, feeling Sebastian bob his head in a perfect rhythm as he bucked his hips upwards. He could feel his entire system tingle and the way Sebastian sucked at certain degrees generated moans to tumble out of his mouth. Ciel dropped the innocent act. It felt so damn good. Sebastian was definitely _not_ a virgin. _He_ knew what he was doing.

Ciel held onto the bed as his slender legs were pushed back past his ears, allowing Sebastian perfect access to invade Ciel's rim. Pleasurable tears gathered at the corners of Ciel's eyes once he felt Sebastian's tongue expertly dance over the untouched territory. Sebastian stabilized Ciel's quivering body by holding down his thighs with one hand and gripping his heat in the other. Ciel was in heaven. Sebastian knew that his little Ciel would die from happiness as he deepened his pink, wet muscle past the tight anus. He loved the sounds that Ciel was making, which drove him to pleasure the boy even more.

Sebastian released his hold on Ciel's legs that were forced behind his head, allowing his back to crack from the previous position, and grabbed his sides to arch his lower regions up to his mouth. Ciel tossed and turned when Sebastian swallowed his entire length in one fluid motion. He hummed lowly, the vibrations pushing him closer to the edge.

Grunts and moans reverberated off of the bedroom walls from Ciel, surprising Sebastian. It was breathtaking music to his ears.

"Sebastian... I'm going to... Nngh!" Ciel felt his head getting very light, the blood rushing faster to his cock, tightness coiling and his fingers digging deeper into Sebastian's silky hair as he struggled to make Sebastian to go faster. The elder vacuumed his cheeks, sucking harder on Ciel's throbbing member. He was nearing his climax at an alarming rate.

"Ah, ah, Sebastian! Fuck... Yes... Don't stop, don't st- Ahhh... Sebastian!" Tightening his hold on Sebastian's head, his body convulsed as he reached his earth shaking orgasm. His strangled cry resonated throughout the house. It was a sweet release that Ciel could not even begin to describe. Sebastian felt the hot liquid explode into his mouth, squirts of cum coating his mouth's interiors.

Ciel blushed furiously; his shy, childish demeanor returning, "Y-You don't have to swallow _that_ , Sebastian!" The said man smirked a smug smile, licking the corners of his mouth where the remaining cum tried to escape.

"Don't tell me what to do, Ciel." The younger one shrunk in his place, eyeing the enormous drooling penis between Sebastian's legs. Ciel could never replicate what just happened. Sebastian didn't request him to pleasure him when he saw the uncertainty flash over Ciel's sweaty face.

Still in a blissful state from what just happened between them, two blue orbs connected with dark crimson brown orbs when his light body was placed on a much drier spot on their full-sized bed. Sebastian settled next to Ciel, leaned over to plant another kiss against his forehead and then his lips, and straightened back up when he heard a few knocks on his front door followed by incessant chimes from the doorbell being pressed.

"Who the hell could that be?" Sebastian muttered to himself, vexation evident in his voice. It was becoming too obnoxious to ignore, no matter how hard Sebastian would prefer to snuggle his Ciel under the blanket in the aftermaths of their shared passion.

Ciel lifted himself off of the bed, fully naked and wild looking hair. Before Sebastian departed, he heard Ciel release a cute whimper. He was shivering and desired Sebastian's warmth.

"Here," he lifted up a sandy colored cashmere blanket with white stripes and carefully tucked Ciel under it, sealing in the warmth for him to relax. Sebastian sent Ciel an expression, conveying 'I'll be right back.' before his body retired from their bedroom.

Ciel could distinguish what was being said, although he struggled to eavesdrop from his spot on the bed. The sound of the front door opening and muffled voices carried only briefly to Ciel's nosy ears. The volume went from loud, quiet, and then hostile. Ciel wasn't sure who the other person was. He had a deeper, gruff voice compared to Sebastian's refined, satin tone of voice. Sebastian's voice trailed off and the other voice sounded distressed. Out of nowhere, it was eerily quiet. Not even a whisper could be heard. The ominous atmosphere caused a few shivers over Ciel's dampened body.

Ciel nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a plate crash thunderously against the hardwood flooring in- what Ciel could discern- the kitchen. He did not have to struggle to hear what happened next, for it was loud enough for the entire neighborhood to understand.

"Are you cheating on me?!" Ciel's eyes shot open at the accusatory tone that came from the other man. It wasn't Sebastian's voice. Ciel shrunk into the covers, now extremely frightened at what would transpire.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you for choosing to read my fanfiction story. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> P.S. You can follow me on Tumblr: fengsuave123.tumblr.com


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